Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Day 29: The Penultimate Torture

Tuesday 31st January, 12.30pm class taught by Rachel (she's BRILLIANT, she is!)

Last one tomorrow.  I'm not going in 'til the evening, though, so will have most of the day at home on my own beginning to wade through the pile of stuff that has been shoved to the side until this was all over.  Throwing myself back into my real life, in other words.  I don't think I want this 30 day challenge to end and reality recommence, even though some of the planning stuff I've got to do is something I would ordinarily be really excited about: I'm sure I will be once I get into it.  Really, it seems like no time since I was saying '27 days to get this or that right'.  It's absolutely flown by.  Means the blog's almost done too - and we haven't talked about the half of it, have we?  I might have a tendency towards off-topicism - had you noticed?  Did you mind?  I've had so many nice comments about it that I'm just going to go ahead and assume that we've had a laugh.  More than 1,000 hits already, too.  Never thought people would care enough to read it, actually - but you have, and thank you for that! xxx

When the kids have gone to bed and I sit down to write this, I sometimes have notes or things that I've written down earlier in the day that I put in, and today I'd written down a couple of (what I thought were) quite funny things, but they just don't seem right for how I feel right now.  I always do things intuitively - it's how I've always written music, it's how I usually find where I'm going, how I cook, just how I am - with just a vague, chaotic almost-plan, I do everything by feel, and it's how I've written this every day.  Feels more personal and immediate and honest that way, I think, and that was what I wanted to communicate - to tell you who I am and what this experience was to me.  I told you it would be haphazard, but I think it's mostly summed up what I wanted to say, which, as I look back through it now, is that it has honestly made me happy every single day. 

Had a minor revelation today:  I keep trying to not roll into the arch of my foot in Eagle, and sat down a bit more and found I could shift my weight towards the outside a bit more equally.  Funny, but when I realised it worked I could remember hearing that loads of times before, "if you're rolling into the arch, sit down more", kind of didn't sink in until I could feel it, though.  Maybe because I couldn't do it before without losing my balance, I don't know.  One of those things that just suddenly works, and then you think, yes, I knew that already.  I knew that, but today I DID that.  I might not be able to do it tomorrow, but I don't mind, because it means I understand it now, and if it doesn't feel the same tomorrow, it will again another day soon.

So day 29, almost there now ... but I'm thinking I'll have to get on with some of those jobs quickly the next couple of days (which might hopefully curtail my procrastinating.  Unfortunately I'm a master at that!) so that I can get back in on Thursday or Friday!

Night x

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